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asleep at mal 9/09
alumiere
happy birthday to me... 
10/22/09 13:53
asleep at mal 9/09

so today is my 43rd birthday, and i'm sitting in my living room being angry and sad, which has unfortunately become my default state of being in the last year and a half (at least when i'm functional enough to notice)

no matter how hard i try, no matter how much my friends and family try to help, i am sick, broke, unemployed, and way beyond in serious debt

and this is instead of having a job and insurance, being in good financial health and having my physical health under control (albeit with too many meds and high medical expenses), and having a life i get to enjoy

and i gotta just take a minute to thank my ex for all his help with this - when we started dating, he was not in good shape financially, barely had a job, and had no credit; i spent our entire relationship helping him fix that... in return he's spent the last year plus (as many of our friends have pointed out to me) not holding up his end of our agreements and actively working to hurt me both financially and emotionally

i really wouldn't wish my health problems on anyone, even him; but the financial and emotional pain and the attendant stress? it would be fair if he could feel what i'm feeling right now

and to the ex (since i'm sure he'll see this or his gf will point it out) - if you have any decency at all, you'll at least do me the favor of sending me the snifter i've been asking about since last summer (pack it up and send it if you wish)...

and if you want to do the right thing for a change, then maybe you'll make a reasonable offer to pay your bills and settle this split so we can both get on with our lives - but hey, your call, just know that your last "offer" didn't even cover the bills from the house (which i have not lived in since 2006, so they are clearly your bills even if they were in my name as you didn't have the time to switch them over when i was visiting), and you're crazy if you think that's reasonable

and as a final aside to the ex - this post isn't slanderous or libelous in any way as it is true - you have continually refused to pay your bills, and that has caused me serious hardship; and your behavior has caused me endless amounts of pain, especially after all the time and money i spent trying to help you get your life on track and give you what you wanted even after we were no longer a romantically involved

now, back to your regularly scheduled program of random links, occasional coherent thoughts, and boring medical updates - i hope all the people i love are having a wonderful day