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asleep at mal 9/09
alumiere
2009 Recap 
12/15/09 15:20
asleep at mal 9/09

This was a bad year for not only me, but nearly everyone I know in some way:

* We lost the Compound, so B & J moved to West Hollywood, J2 went back to New Orleans, and T & I moved to Westwood. I desperately miss having people around all the time, but with my own space.
* My health got dramatically worse, and I am becoming more resigned to the fact that these changes are permanent. More testing is to come, but I have lost hope for a real fix.
* Friends have died. As a group we've lost family members and loved ones. Homes were foreclosed on and jobs lost at an unprecedented rate. Others are struggling with illness, injury, finding work, schoolwork, and paying the bills.
* This one's personal, but I've seen similar posts from may of you - the man I loved enough to marry turned out to be someone I never expected was possible. The bad behavior by partners and trusted friends has been rampant. I'm partly to blame for our breakup (as are some of you for your own), but that doesn't explain the vindictiveness or his refusal to take any responsibility.
* As an American I was proud of my country when President Obama was inagurated. Since then, I've seen Americans behave in ways that disgust and shame me more frequently than I can remember since the 80's and the AIDS crisis & ACT-UP. Torture and war and the secrecy surrounding it. Racism, sexism, classism, homophobia, transphobia, rape culture, and ableism. People are being killed, people are dying; in both the US and abroad because of choices my fellow Americans have made and words they've spoken. And yet we stand idly by while our government, military and policing agencies violate the constitution again and again.
* Health care reform as currently being voted on is a joke; and today insurers won't pay for treatment or insure those who most need it. The economic bailout hasn't helped anyone except big business and Wall Street. President Obama has filled financial offices with the same people who caused the crash, sometimes hiring them while they were still employed by Citigroup et al. And our government fails to keep church and state separate on a regular basis.

But there was/is some good as well:

* I've gotten to know more people and become better friends with others here in LA.
* I can still read, write, and dance, even though I'm slow and clumsy. And I usually get out of the apartment a few times a week.
* Almost as many of you have gotten married or met someone new and fabulous as have had bad splits. And I am lucky to have T in my life.
* 3000 miles is a lot of distance, but the internet makes family and friends not so far away. And having a computer makes the fact that I don't think the same (multi-tasking is almost impossible now, and single tasks occur at a fraction of the speed) and I now talk with a serious slur less obvious or troublesome.
* Sooo many of you have started (or continued) making beautiful things - art, jewelry, books, clothes, fabric, music, etc. Some days I manage to make stuff as well. It is something I plan to continue in 2010.
* I got to see some of the people I miss when I was back east in September (although I missed a lot of you too), but I can honestly say I am very happy I moved to LA. If nothing else, the weather is much easier on my body than MD/DC. And there are actually clubs I want to go to, DJs who make me dance, and friends who take me out.

I hope 2010 is a terrific year for all of you, and that fortune and health and happiness fill our lives.
Comments 
12/22/09 14:39 (UTC)
I've been meaning to get back to this post for the past few days. Work owns me.

Yeah: 2009 sucked for me, as you know (& anyone else on my flist knows, as I am have relentless in my kvetching. As one of my many supportive pals, thanks for your advice, support & sympathy in 2009. MWAH.)

I hear you, about coming to grips with health situations & what is permanent & what isn't. I can't imagine how things are for you, with the alteration of memory being the symptom you describe that haunts me most - but it seems everyone's health comes into sharper focus around 40. It sucks that it's come down this way for you, but:

If the trick is to figger out how to play the hand we're dealt, you're doing it. you're still getting by (I know barely, that part sucks); you has love in yor life & many friends/family folks who care for you.

Bad behavior on the parts of partners: UM! No comment. :/

Zooom: yes, being immature & horrible. But your mom's gonna help you out & sooner than we think, this will all be over. Then you can say he *was* an asshat. not *is*. Semantics changes everything..

Much to look forward to. Glad LA makes you happy. Life is short. Glad we talked more in 2009 than I think we did in 2008. More of that plz. XOXOXO.