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asleep at mal 9/09
alumiere
Fever Dreams 
3/8/12 17:47
asleep at mal 9/09
I just woke from a terrifyingly real nonsensical dream, and maybe some of you can help me puzzle it out. I was at a bar-b-que (on the east coast? or here?) with friends old and new.

People kept showing up and saying hello, asking me about my health and the bald and if I remembered them and talking among each other as if they were friends. I think Mark Fink and Chris Hourcle (who look nothing like I believe they do) were jury rigging another grill together out of bits and pieces and a spare propane tank and Alexa(?!) was actually doing the work.

Apparently in the dream I had just come from NYC where I'd art directed? assistant produced? props designed? a play in the east village. All I can remember when describing the play was lots of gay boys and cross dressers and shiny things.

And while none of that made sense, what really confused(es) me is the people. I knew in my brain in the dream that these people were from different periods in my life and didn't know one another; that some of them were long dead and others I hadn't seen in a decade or more, but they were all talking and laughing together as if the best of friends.

Does Mark look like a football player turned aging punk? Does Chris have a full head of long hair and strikingly blue eyes? Why was Vixen talking with a Mike/Mikey from Shakespeare on Wheels (SOW) about her new band and him peeing on the MTV logo outside their HQ (does such a place even exist)?

Edie was there and talking as if she'd never been ill. Jerry wasn't dead, nor was S or A or... and they were talking to Psyche and a girl who looked like Death from Sandman. My boyfriend/caretaker T was nowhere to be seen, but B & J were hosting and B was happily flitting from group to group as if he knew everyone (while J was in a corner playing on his computer and drinking/talking with Tarlung). Pennsic folks and east and west coast freaks and people I knew from UMBC and UMCP and even Juniata showed up.

My mom kept calling me to make sure everything was OK, asking about pulling up the 'faux' carpet in my old apartment and the cell phone I was on was literally the size of a brick, like one of my old old Nextels.

Nagamii and a pretty Asian boy named Michael and Jeff from Juniata were arguing about who was prettier. I talked to Michael for a while and he asked if I remembered meeting him, then said Jose had introduced us at a Castlecon? in Fredrick.

Angel and QBKim were hanging out with Sherri and Patrick, Lou and Scott/Elf and Gregg. Sheila and Jason and the pretty blond boy from SOW were talking theatre with Randy from London After Midnight.

I remember I was wearing a long black cargo skirt, the New Rock boots that need new heels and haven't been wearable in ages, a fitted top and a purple bandana around my neck as if it was burning man. And I was so fucking confused as to what was going on, if these people were who they said they were, and what had happened to my life.

There was discussion that later on we'd go to Mal and dance, and that more people would meet us there. Sid was talking with Mark Coletti about kilts, Hawke and Becca were chatting amiably with Steve and Donna. Bruce/Brutus was there with Susan (and they're not together, haven't been for years).

Ro and Cassiopia with Laurel and Dan, Raymond and his and Sherri's son Raynond Jr were hanging out with Mars and Rachael. And my dead peers just kept popping up.

Wendy and B were talking about co-designing a line of steampunk accessories. Kitten was painting something on a jacket, and Leah was talking about dance with Glenn. And people kept showing up with food and booze and trying to give it to me, while I was so nauseous and kept telling them to take it to one of the grills or the tables nearby - platters of seafood and pork and all sorts of things that seem to make me sick.

If anyone can make any sense of this, please feel free to do so - I am so creeped out by this dream. Thankfully Miss Pris was apparently curled up with me to keep me warm and she rolled over and woke me up or I have a feeling I'd have woken with a scream - I don't know if most of these people are remotely what they looked like in my dream, and I'm frightened.

Also odd were the people who were missing - while there were more people than I've named above, it seemed wrong that Gus, Eva, Peter, Damion(LA), Mangor, Jeff & Denise, Emily (SOW), and Joe (Juniata/UMBC) were gone. Although I am happy my ex and some of the DC/MD freaks that were regulars at our parties didn't show - at least that I recall.
Comments 
3/9/12 12:47 (UTC)
I think it's a good dream. But, of course, I'm not picking up the emotional nuances.

Do you ever watch films by the late Italian filmmaker Federico Fellini? He's my favorite cinematiste. I think it's 8 1/2 where the very final scene of the film is this huge circus tent filled with every single person the protagonist has ever known. Anyway, your dream rather reminds me of that.
3/9/12 19:45 (UTC)
Huh - I am fairly certain I've seen that film (we studied Fellini in film class) but I cannot remember it. I'm glad you think the dream was a good one though; maybe stress is just leeching through.
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3/9/12 19:46 (UTC)
No idea, but since I am firmly a believer that this life is all we get (which is part of the upset my brain in the dream was having), I doubt it was an afterlife. Weirdly unsettling.
3/9/12 17:37 (UTC)
I am flattered to have made it into your dream! :) Sorry it was disturbing, though. My guess is that before nodding off, you were just thinking about old friends, or one old friend who brought a flood of memories back. Dreams are so random. I've had some doozies lately and REALLY don't want to read too much into them! o_O

Big hugs to you xx
3/9/12 19:47 (UTC)
Hugs back to you; I'm okay but still feeling disturbed today - I'm sure it will pass in time.
3/10/12 5:49 (UTC)
It sounds like one of those dreams where nothing bad actually happened, but there was just a wrong feeling to it all. I have had a couple of those, I think the weirdest part is having a dream that can screw with you for the rest of the day. I wish I knew what was happening in the brain when it does that...but if nothing else, they have always faded away like regular dreams after a few hours or a day.