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asleep at mal 9/09
alumiere
i know, i haven't updated much lately 
11/26/02 13:32
b&w
alumiere
once again, work is sucking, i'll leave that alone and get to the weekend... it was quite decent overall (except for being here on saturday and lj being down so i couldn't vent or catch up on all your posts) - friday night was wonderful - left work on time for a change, flew home, zooom had fixed me a "sammitch" so i sped through costume change, added tomato and cheese to the plain meat sandwich and jumped into the car with zooom driving and angitia as "luggage" and headed for alchemy - was a very good night - hellraver was well worth going to hear, 2501 amazed me (his and my musical tastes rarely mesh and he usually drives me right off the floor - friday he kept me there for all but 1 song out of his set), solares spun a wicked 80's set, danced lots with pyrogus and ikirus, mystikvelvet showed up way late with faeridust dressed in some of my things and looking very sexy - all in all i had a fabulous time - left a bit earlier than usual (i was tired), went home and crashed (zooom had someone else to play with friday night)

saturday work was not great, but i made it through my orders and headed home earlier than expected, about 4:30 - and took a nap til it was time to start dressing for taboo at orpheus - we ordered the pizza hut deep dish for dinner and were pleasantly surprised - the crust is good for chain pizza, we'll be ordering that one again... got ready and headed up to orpheus with a full car - the night was great, azuresandstorm was celebrating her b-day, so we had a good crowd - zooom, gus, me, braidy, flame, the b-day girl, karen & ben, kaija & her lost boy (his name escapes me - damn i'm horrible), michael, i'm sure i've forgotten people... danced til they kicked us out - it was really cool to have a 7 month pregnant karen up on the "stage" with me showing all the young goths up... home to some great sex and a decent nights sleep finally - whee

sunday was stitch and bitch, got up and fixed breakfast for our housefull of guests, finally got to spend some time visiting with our guests anna and ant, finished stacia's skirts for yule, they look fabulous and fit her great - now for some pants for zooom and a skirt for me... also helped anna figure out how to recreate ant's favorite period pants... ended stitch and bitch a bit on the early side, headed to jandara on wisconsin avenue for freak family dinner - 15 people, great food, a good time was had by all, when we got home we hung out a bit with folks who came back after dinner, talked with stacia for a bit - it seems one of our freak friends (and a major freak at that) is attracted to zooom, but is put off by the fact that we are married - i was floored by this - she's open minded and easygoing about everything else i can think of; if we don't have a problem with our open marraige, no one else should either!! then i went to bed (didn't actually fall asleep til after the midnight soprano's - which was fairly decent - no spoilers this time)

yesterday was insane at work, got home late, started laundry, fixed dinner, worked on pants for zooom (i'm patterning off of an ancient pair of z cavarici's i have from the late 80's - he really likes the style, but i think my first attempt at these may not be a success) got a phone call from another friend who wanted to ask how we make our open marraige work - happy to talk to her, hope things work out the way she and her hubby want them to...

i promise i'll try to catch up on everyone's journals over the holiday weekend (luckily i'm off thurs and friday - yeah!) if i get a chance
Comments 
(Deleted comment)
11/27/02 1:48 (UTC) - Re: My $.02
ashbet
>>>Either way, I don't think being open-minded and being wary of getting involved with someone in an open marriage are necessarily mutually exclusive.

This being true -- speaking as a poly person (my preferred relationship style is polyfidelity -- a closed relationship with three or more people, for those reading this who *aren't* familiar with the concept), *I'd* be leery, as a single person, of getting involved with half of a married couple. Now, I'm also bi, and a three-way relationship is perfectly fine with me . . . but I've even spent some time as a third to two very close friends who are married to each other, and *that* bothered me a little. Not to say that it couldn't have worked out over time, but I did wind up feeling like a third wheel some of the time. When your partners are married to each other, unless they're inviting you into the relationship as a *spouse*, you can wind up feeling sad or lonely because you're *not* a primary partner . . . and I don't see it as being closed-minded not to want to deliberately put yourself into that situation if you have a strong feeling that it would bother you.

Again -- I'm coming at this from a totally different perspective, I am *not* comfortable having any kind of 'open' relationship as a preference, not because I'm closed-minded, but because it doesn't work for me personally. I'm not interested in pursuing outside interests, and neither is Kyle . . . but if someone were to come along who fit with both of us as a long-term partner, we're open to the idea. It's just a different thought pattern and way of dealing with our needs and the hypothetical needs of anyone else involved.

Anyway . . . long digression on a minor part of the message -- glad to hear from you, and glad that it sounds like your stress level is way down from the last time that you posted!! :)

**hugs**

-- Andi
11/27/02 8:25 (UTC) - Re: My $.02
alumiere
actually, i understand where you're coming from, however, what surprised me is that the young lady in question has no problems what-so-ever getting involved with people who are in permanent "open" relationships, it is that the word marraige puts her off...

glad to see that this topic started a bit of discussion - i'm frequently confused by how many people in the dc "scene" have a hard time with our relationship
11/27/02 8:51 (UTC) - Re: My $.02
ashbet
BTW -- I was typing at an ungodly hour of the morning -- none of that was intended as personal criticism, just an attempt at playing devil's advocate and trying to see the girl in question's viewpoint. That *is* odd, from your clarification, that the existence of a legal relationship is more important to her than the emotional one . . . *shrug* Everyone's got their trigger buttons, I guess . . .

Anyway, I've always been pleased and impressed to see how well the two of you get along and how successful you've been in maintaining a long-term, healthy relationship on *your* terms . . . congrats, and best of luck in the future!!

-- Andi (who's also seen the disapproval of non-conventional relationships from a number of people in 'the scene', which mystifies me a bit -- are we supposed to be open-minded about everything having to do with sexuality and relationships EXCEPT willingness to have more than two people in the relationship?? Sheesh!)
11/27/02 6:47 (UTC)
kittenkatt
kaija & her lost boy (his name escapes me - damn i'm horrible)

You aren't horrible, and he's Sean the other Baltimore cop, also known as William of the Bog. Though he answers quite well to Kaija's Lost Boy ;)
11/27/02 6:56 (UTC) - Don't feel horrible
azuresandstorm
I can never remember his name either. Oops.

As far as the whole open relationship thing goes, you guys are one of the few couples I've seen who can make it work. Kudos and more power to you.
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