Confucianism: Confucius say “shit happens!”
Hinduism: This shit has happened before!
Buddhism: Life is full of shit!
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it!
Protestantism: Don’t bring that shit here!
Islam: If shit happens, blow something up!
Mormonism: Having many wives can cause you a lot of shit!
Jehova’s Witnesses Let me into your home and I’ll tell you why shit happens!
Scientology John Travolta is into this shit!
Hare Krishna Shit happens Rama Lama Ding Dong!
Atheism I don’t believe this shit!
Agnosticism I don’t know shit!
Branch Davidians Hey! This shit is on fire!
7th Day Adventists You can only do your shit on Saturday!
Evolutionism We all came from shit!
Communism Learn to share your shit!
Rastafarianism Hey mon! That’s some good shit!