Are you tired of all those mushy friendship poems that always sound
good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a
friendship poem that really speaks to true friendship and truth itself!

Dear Friend: When you are sad... I will get you drunk and help you
plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
When you are blue... I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile... I'll know you finally got laid.
When you are scared... I will rag you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried... I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be so you quit your damn whining.
When you are confused...I will use little words to explain it to your
dumb ass.
When you are sick... Stay away from me until you're well again. I
don't want whatever you have.
When you fall... I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath, I pledge 'till the end. Why you may ask? Because
you're my friend!

AND REMEMBER, A friend will help you move. A really good friend
will help you move a body.