December 10th, 2001

asleep at mal 9/09


back at work today, was out sick thursday & friday... details on the weekend to come later, after i catch up on the e-mails and other stuff covering my desktop...
asleep at mal 9/09

(no subject)

* Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.
* Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.
* Judaism - He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins.
* Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
* Existentialism II - He who dies with the most toys, is still dead.
* Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
* 7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
* Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.
* Anglican - They were our toys first.
* Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.
* Atheism - There is no toy maker.
* Discordianism - Our minds are toys.
* Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
* Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.
* Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.
*Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to
the opposite of heaven if we catch you selling yours.
* Baha'i - All toys are just fine with us.
* Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
* Church of the SubGenius - It'll cost you $30 to play.
* Taoism - The doll is as important as the dumptruck.
* Mormonism - Every boy may have as many toys as he wants.
* Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second...
* Hedonsim - Hang the rule book! Let's play!
* Baptist - Once played always played.
*Jehovah's Witnesses - He who "places" the most toys door-to-door, wins.
* Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.
* Existentialism I - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
* Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.
* Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play.
asleep at mal 9/09

Philosophies of the World

Taoism: Shit Happens!
Confucianism: Confucius say “shit happens!”
Hinduism: This shit has happened before!
Buddhism: Life is full of shit!
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it!
Protestantism: Don’t bring that shit here!
Islam: If shit happens, blow something up!
Mormonism: Having many wives can cause you a lot of shit!
Jehova’s Witnesses Let me into your home and I’ll tell you why shit happens!
Scientology John Travolta is into this shit!
Hare Krishna Shit happens Rama Lama Ding Dong!
Atheism I don’t believe this shit!
Agnosticism I don’t know shit!
Branch Davidians Hey! This shit is on fire!
7th Day Adventists You can only do your shit on Saturday!
Evolutionism We all came from shit!
Communism Learn to share your shit!
Rastafarianism Hey mon! That’s some good shit!
asleep at mal 9/09

(no subject)

Are you tired of all those mushy friendship poems that always sound
good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a
friendship poem that really speaks to true friendship and truth itself!

Dear Friend: When you are sad... I will get you drunk and help you
plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
When you are blue... I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile... I'll know you finally got laid.
When you are scared... I will rag you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried... I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be so you quit your damn whining.
When you are confused...I will use little words to explain it to your
dumb ass.
When you are sick... Stay away from me until you're well again. I
don't want whatever you have.
When you fall... I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath, I pledge 'till the end. Why you may ask? Because
you're my friend!

AND REMEMBER, A friend will help you move. A really good friend
will help you move a body.
asleep at mal 9/09

major update

ok... so since weds i've had a really nasty sinus ear infection, left work early, out sick thursday & friday; that's why i haven't been posting...
i went to the doctor and am currently on antibiotics, and feeling much better, but not 100% - the amoxicillin makes me sleepy
antibiotics and illness not withstanding, i had a very good weekend, went out thursday and had fun as usual (and congrats to isabelle on the job); then went to qxt in new jersey on friday before going to yule w/ everyone... didn't like the music as much, i'm sooo spoiled at nations... but was very good to see everyone, had a good time at yule, got to see lots of people, basically except for being sick, everything was wonderful this weekend... work not bad, only 374 e-mails at work... caught up now, and it's time to go take fred back to cumberland... nite all