May 6th, 2004

asleep at mal 9/09

i'm sorry to say

i will not be able to make it to alchemy_dc tonight at the edge... my arthritis is exceedingly unhappy with the change in seasons (i'm currently numb from my hip to my knee on the surface, with loads of pain in the joint), plus we're quite broke from our trip to la

hopefully by saturday things will be a bit better and i'll be able to come out
asleep at mal 9/09

wow

lilkender posted this link earlier, and it really hit home

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/2004/11/the_spoon_theory.php

i don't count "spoons" but i do plan my activities based on the level of pain they're going to cause vs. the level of pain i can live with

in my head i count pain points (when i was first in treatment i was taught how to rate my pain level vs. what was normal before the accident) - a good day starts at around a 6 which i can mostly ignore but walking, dancing, etc ramps that level up quickly (hence the painkillers before and cocktails at the club), and the weather we've been having lately (i so wish the rain/temp would level out) has had me starting at an 8 or 9 the past few weeks. all this means that i'm limping badly after a block or two of walking and i can't take pain meds all the time (the few that i'm not allergic to stop working when used continuously) so i am pretty well useless at the moment

it also means on bad days when i'm starting out above my pain threshold (i can ignore a 6, deal with a 7, and am ready to cry all the time at a 9) i tend to cut down on activities and nurse my aching joints and a few cocktails at home so at least i can get some sleep...

thank the gods/goddesses i don't get hangovers if i drink the right stuff ;)

anyway, not looking for sympathy, this is mostly for myself and those of you who always ask why i'm using a cane when you see me with one