February 12th, 2009

asleep at mal 9/09


not a fan of the holiday in any way (as many others have also pointed out if you have to have a specific day to say you love someone, your relationship is in trouble) but here are a few related links anyway

first, phreddiva's valentine's lists - in book form (including the as yet unseen 2009 list):

and this post is genius - it puts a lot of things i know in simple terms


i think the one hit home for me the most is

"You can't expect to have what you want if you don't ask for what you want."

this is especially true for me as i've given up on monogamy, so asking for what i want and being honest about what i can and can't give someone is an absolute must (otoh, the asking - damn that can be hard especially when you're shy)

but asking for what you want telling your partner what you need in some way is extremely important

in the past when it has stressed me out/made me too uncomfortable to discuss something face-to-face as a starting point i've used letters or online messages or pointed them at links saying this please - once the conversation is started it's easier to keep talking

and while i'm bi and non-monagamous, the topics addressed apply to any relationship you have - seriously
asleep at mal 9/09

gasp - an update

life continues at its usual whirlwind pace here in la la land...

clubbing twice a week, searching for a new place to live, working too much, finding time to spend with t, plus all the usual stuff

both t and i have had nasty colds for the past week or so; today is the first day i've felt almost human since last wednesday - none-the-less we did go out to bunker friday, mal sunday and wumpskate monday - i decided a cold was not going to make me miss my fun

things with t are good. we enjoy so many of the same things i sometimes wonder if we're not too similar. but the dancing, oh the dancing - i can't even begin to describe how much i am enjoying having a primary partner who enjoys clubbing and dancing as much as i do

other than that, been working on my taxes (boo for CA witholding refunds - must adjust state withholdings for 2009) and realized my medical bills for last year were absolutely insane, and that doesn't include the special diet either

doing my best to stick to the doctor's plan re: meds and diet while finding new and different "me safe" meals and not go broke doing that is hard. i'm working out regularly as usual to keep muscle tone and my weight stable - it seems to be helping a bit. and i joined www.sparkpeople.com which is making me more aware of my carb intake and the fact that i needed to add more fiber to my diet and stop worrying quite so much about total carbs and concentrate on net carbs

there are a few other people one or both of us are flirting with - perhaps one of these days i'll actually get to go out with a girl again (why is it that sooo many women are crazy or full of drama, and the ones that aren't are taken or immediately uninterested when i tell them i'm bi?!)

and both t and i have been having a ton of fun with wumpskate - i sort of wish it were every other week rather than once a month though. i seem to be very slowly remembering how to skate, and going more often would probably make picking things back up easier (although i didn't fall this month, and did manage to make it around the rink twice backwards - pinwheeling my arms and looking silly the whole time, but whatever)