June 11th, 2010

asleep at mal 9/09

(no subject)

There's a great discussion of this going on over at rm's journal, which featured a link to this: http://gagajournal.blogspot.com/.

I still don't get the whole Nazi/Fascist uniform fetish, but at least that helped make sense of it in the scope of the video. There are so many questions Gaga raises in this piece, and as much as I dislike pop music in general, it's good to see things that question the dominant paradigm reaching such a huge audience.

Madonna is definitely part of the inspiration here, but the reference to Cabaret, Metropolis, and the Weimar era in general also abound. And as the gagajournal piece discusses the acceptance and love of non-hetero men is prevalent, even when they do not react in the way Gaga would wish.

I'm still not sure I get her (or ever will), but I'm constantly intrigued by not only her videos, but the groups that re-create them for fun online. In that regard Gaga's work seems like a cultural touchstone that allows people to question themselves and their roles in society in a way that hasn't been done in a long time. It's really kind of fun to log online and find my friends and their friends having ongoing cultural critiques of her work from so many different viewpoints.

I almost feel like I'm back in grad school again, trying to interpret a play based solely on the script when we don't know the author's intention or what the performers did/thought or how the piece was staged; inference and subtle cues in the original script being what we have to go on. Well, that and whatever historical records are available regarding the time period of the original performances. My brain is grasping for meaning and coming back with untranslated documents about how much tallow was used in the castle during the month the players were in town vs that of months when they were not, as if that was enough to help determine how the stage was created and set-up.

I'm enjoying the thought process more than I did then, perhaps because it's my own history she's playing with, and even more because the tropes are already familiar. Derivative or not there's more to Gaga that I expected when I first heard her name, and I hope she continues to challenge us. I also cannot wait to see the you-tube remakes that will show up for this video in a few weeks - will it read differently when it's a gay man and the football squad for example?
asleep at mal 9/09

5/26 - 6/11 Life

I've been really pretty useless for the past two weeks with the exception of the weekend of 5/29. Pain through the roof, numb to the point that I can barely type, my body is apparently in fuck you mode despite the warm sunny weather. I've been watching a lot of TV, sleeping too much, and occasionally reading online or books when I can.

First round of new test results are back so I have another Doctor's appointment Monday. In the meantime this weekend is LA Pride, and with the exception of Sunday brunch & sitting in a chair parade watching with B & J and company I'm doing nothing; I have neither the energy nor the pain tolerance for walking, dancing, etc. Can I just say this bites?

Here are the life updates I haven't been together enough to edit into a coherent post...

Weds 5/26 (didn't get to workout, pain and numb worsened too quickly):
12:52 Awake, moving; slept almost 12 hours, I needed to catch up. Pain/numb~6/7. Today I will workout damnit. Sunny & warm out is good. #almeds

Thurs 5/27:
17:17 Ouch, ouch, ouch. Bloodwork done, passed the fuck out afterwards. That was today's 1 thing. Migraine too. Pain/numb 8/6. #almeds
17:20 11 vials of blood today, & they used the syringe where they snap into it, not tubing. I have an ugly bruise & am typing w/ 1 hand. #almeds
17:23 At least Monday when they took 9 vials they used butterfly style w/ tubing & separate vial connection; those hurt/bruise a lot less. #almeds
17:26 Two more 24 hour tests (saliva) & ultrasound on thyroid, then the tests for the new doctor are done. Answers would be great. #almeds

Fri 5/28:
13:14 Fuck fuck fuck. Today's 1 thing = sewing. Unfortunately I just sewed the front panels together wrong. Pain/numb 6/5, but brain 60%. #almeds
13:15 Insomnia last night kept me tossing and turning but I did get ~ 8 hours of sleep and woke at noon. Stomach upset too. Cranky now. #almeds
13:17 Lets see if I can remove these seams without fucking up the vinyl or cutting myself. Stupid brain. #almeds
22:26 Sewing has taken nearly all my attention today, and likely tomorrow. Not playing catchup here, will be back after this project is done.
22:59 Right now, I am braindead and starting to hurt more and be more numb. Time to read until I fall sleep. #almeds

Sat 5/29:
9:35 Fell asleep reading, slept OK except for nightmares. Pain/numb = 6/6 again, brain reset for the moment. Back to sewing; must finish. #almeds
23:00 Done sewing for the day; neckline and armhole hems left. Almost done which is good since I will be wearing it tomorrow. #creative
23:02 Shoulders and arms are killing me, numb 8, that's after 30+ mins of tens & pain meds. Bed soon. Tomorrow - finish dress, nap, bbq, dance? #almeds

Sun 5/30 (no twitter):
I finished the new dress in the morning, then we went to a bbq at n8zilla and desiringmachine's place. I found a seat in the corner and friends brought me food and drink and ignored the fact that I was only half there. It was still good to get out and see people. Following that was a bit of dancing at Malediction; they had a live show featuring an off-key set by System Syn and a great set by Informatic. New dress was a hit; picture will be posted soon. It was very crowded and we left early though. #almeds

Mon 5/31:
14:10 Finally semi-functional. Sewing, talking, dancing accomplished yesterday, plus napping, sleep. Sunny day, pain/numb 7/5. #almeds
14:12 Upstairs elephants woke me again, around noon. Today will be nada except recovering, more sleep, catch-up. Brain slow & sieve-like. #almeds

Tues 6/1:
13:16 11 hours of sleep = I guess I was still tired even w/ the naps. Yesterday evening we wound up going to Skewers for B & J's birthday (yummm) #almeds
13:19 Then Ground Control (aka Goth karaoke) - loads of off key = ouch; a few good songs = thank you. I was in pain & cranky - sorry all. #almeds
13:21 Today = clean up sewing area, kitchen (with T's help that is). Pain/numb = 8/7; enjoying leftover skewers for lunch atm. Also more job searching & catchup. #almeds
19:27 Dizzy. Between the living room & bathroom I hit both sides of the hall frame & bathroom door frame. Go me. New bruises shortly. #almeds
21:13 And now, I have had enough internet for the day. Head swimming, migraine starts. Time for "TV" and then to bed. #almeds

Weds 6/2 (Workout failed; migraine never really went away):
12:04 Awake, ~ 11 hours sleep. Lunch in progress. Pain/numb 8/7. Migraine continues. #almeds Today's 1 thing = workout i hope.

Thurs 6/3 (no twitter):
Migraine continued; lost the day entirely to naps and brainlessness I think. Also intermittent elephants upstairs based on the Friday LJ post, but I do not remember for sure. #almeds

Fri 6/4:
18:30 Today has been rough. Slept poorly, woken by upstairs heard, migraine was worse at a 9. Painkillers have finally dropped it to 7. #almeds
18:34 Numb = 8, arms feel like they're on fire while functioning as dead weight. Unhappy and useless. Neighbor still stomping overhead. #almeds

Sat 6/5:
14:55 No elephants today = hooray. Pain/numb = 6/8. Today's 1 thing: dancing at Mode:M later on, probably after a nap. Slept well, but still tired #almeds

Sun 6/6:
17:25 Dancing last night was poor, will try again tonight at mal. Slept poorly (upset stomach), woke late. Pain/numb = 6/6. #almeds

Mon 6/7 (Itchy all over has returned; I can once again barely stand to put on clothes; been struggling not to scratch my skin raw. WTF is causing this?):
02:19 Dancing fail. Music was good tonight which is way better than last night. Body totally unwilling though. Pain/numb = 8/9. Slept through...
02:20 much of the night. Bed once I manage to get myself out of these clothes. Hope tomorrow is better. #almeds
02:23 Also, home not even 5 mins, small earthquake. 3.6 off the coast of Santa Monica. We live just inland from there.
02:34 Does the earthquake we just felt have anything to do with me feeling like ass and sleepy all day? No answers just a question. #almeds
02:35 Ok - time to undress & get more sleep. Earthquake aside, I hurt like hell, clothes are annoying, and I'm wiped the fuck out. #almeds
18:44 Exhausted. Pain/numb = 8/9. Not from dancing; I slept through much of mal. Today: laundry. 5 huge industrial front loaders worth. #almeds

Tues 6/8:
16:21 Today's 1 thing: vote. No line, done quickly. Good. Pain = 9 (hip), numb = 7. Apparently slept wrong; I hurt bad, + I was snoring (I do not usually snore unless I'm really sick with a cold or sinus infection; thankfully I am not). #almeds
22:15 And the itchies which had decreased to tolerable are back full force this week. Clothes are almost unbearable. Stop now. #almeds
22:20 I am seriously considering shaving my head b/c I can't stand the feeling of hair on my neck/shoulders. And i already have a mohawk. #almeds

Weds 6/9:
12:56 Grr... slept well, still tired though. Pain (hip) 8, numb 8 i can barely type, shoulders to fingers, waist to toes burning numb. #almeds
13:00 I was hoping the warmer weather would decrease the frequency of days like yesterday/today. Apparently I was wrong. #almeds
19:35 Meds helped the numb a bit; now I can kinda type and thankfully I'd already figured out how to use my touchpad when hands are numb. #almeds

Thurs 6/10:
17:24 Non-productive day; woken early this am by construction or yardwork nearby, finally fell back asleep around 1 and just woke up. #almeds
17:26 It was gorgeous out though - if I'd had the energy to get there lying on the beach would've been ideal. Instead I sat on the patio and re-read part of The Dark Tower this morning while the sun was out. #almeds

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Sorry this got so long; I'll do my best to get back to every day or two posts rather than two weeks. There are some seriously good links behind the cut though, and I need the medical stuff un-cut so google advanced search can help me find that. My apologies for eating up your page view today.