December 11th, 2012

asleep at mal 9/09

Thoughts on my mom's visit

So I wrote briefly about my mom's visit, but afterwards it made me think about a lot of things. The visit and the trip were fun, but my broken was sometimes a big problem, and the week afterwards was pretty useless while my body 'caught up'.

On the one hand, I had spent the week before relaxing and doing very little because I knew she wanted to do a bunch of stuff I don't normally do, so mom got the best side of me. On the other hand, that lead to lots of comments about how much better I seemed to be doing than she expected. And on the third hand, there are things I am now absolutely horrible at that she expected me to be able to do, and she got frustrated when I couldn't do them.

So I'm going to unpack it all while I have a clear-ish grip of what's been going on in my head... Collapse )

So the takeaway from all this is that:
1) If I save up my energy and get plenty of sleep every night I can manage a few days of walking more than normal, but I still only get a couple of hours max in a day and that's with breaks in between. Note that I'm going to pay for it afterwards and I'm going to take more pain meds than I would if I wasn't moving so much, and there's a limit to how long taking more meds will work.
2) The reasons I don't drive anymore are very obvious - I cannot find my way around places I don't know, even with maps and GPS to help. And I often can't find my way around places I do know either. Broken brain is broken when path navigation is involved.
3) I need to figure out what's up with the dizziness and disorientation - I have dizziness at home sometimes too, but not as bad, and usually when I'm exhausted and/or sick. This was much more severe, and physically I felt fine for me both times, so I clearly need to see where my limits are. Both times were at the end of more walking than normal - so was that it, or was it the unique situations or the someplace new so I was trying to process too much information and it caused that or what?
4) I really want to start swimming again; even if it's only an hour a few times a week - I miss it. And it doesn't hurt the way walking or other exercise does, so it would help keep me in shape and be good for my joints/muscles/etc.
5) I am relatively good at using the internet for both finding things (not directions - I suck at those) and for keeping my brain engaged on a basic level. So I need to not feel bad about the fact that I spend so much time online - it works. And twitter continues to be my friend in terms of remembering what I've done when; I couldn't have written this entry without those notes to myself (I kept them in a notepad for much of the trip because I had limited internet access, but I still wrote them down and emailed them to myself when I got home - but I like that twitter gives me short bursts of activity both my own and other people's for days when my brain doesn't want to do much).

Mom's visit and the trip up the coast were both good things, but I clearly have more to learn about how my body behaves when I do things I don't usually do. And perhaps it would be good to add some different stuff to my activities list - slowly - to see what I can and can't figure out how to do without negative consequences.