alumiere (alumiere) wrote,

not whining i swear

life would be perfect if my body would stop breaking and i could figure out how to be a bit better at dating...

i'm surrounded by beautiful people and have amazing friends; my apartment is small but cute and the perfect place for me (yeah for landing in a good spot); clubbing here in la is better than it was in dc once alchemy closed; i'm comfortable with who i am and get to have a lot of fun; my job pays well and i get to work from home (even though it makes me annoyed often the trade-offs are worth it)

but i've got "no game" - i suck at the whole dating/meeting new people thing quite a lot

i seem to be quite awful at flirting (except maybe on the dance floor and that only happens if i've had a few drinks); i have a bad habit that once i do finally start talking to someone i find attractive and figuring out i enjoy their company and trust them i ask them out and that is sometimes too aggressive (although fortunately i'm a good judge of people so often this has caused brief moments of discomfort followed by some excellent friendships - at least with guys) in many cases; i tend to ask for what i want once i'm comfortable with people as friends (ie: sex, etc) which seems to put some people off...

then there's the whole i'm bi and want an open relationship thing - how do i explain to someone new that i'm not looking for a serious relationship atm (it's too soon) and may never be looking for monogamy without offending or scaring them off? i prefer open and up front and refuse to play games but again, that seems to intimidate people even though i may already be friends with the person

eta keep in mind there's a difference between open relationship and polyamory - at least for me - while i'm not ready for a primary partner atm, eventually i suspect i will be and hope that i meet one, but at the same time i would want to be able to have other partners within whatever set of rules my primary and i work out as i know damn well that monogamy has never been a successful relationship type for me

and then there's women - i know i'm not a typical female, i don't understand most of the traditional behaviors of my sex, and i can't read girls at all - even when i meet a girl i'm attracted to i have no idea how to read them (are they straight/bi/gay? do they think i'm attractive too or just want a friend? how do i approach girls without being that creepy person who hits on them?) - the only women i've ever dated hit on me first - i'm pretty fucking clue free otherwise

that said, i seem to have met a least a few prospective dates recently, and if i haven't frightened them off already life should get even more interesting
Tags: dating

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