alumiere (alumiere) wrote,

i started to post this as a response to rm's post but it got too long...

she's really got me thinking about how i've been treated in different communities over the years...

more follow up for rm

sometimes it's really strange to me how different and yet how similar we are

my childhood/young adulthood was so different in many ways but we come from the same place (although a few years apart)

i started refusing the trappings of that world at 13 (go ugly divorce and uglier living situation afterwards plus so not wanting to be a part of that group that hated and derided me throughout school), so i didn't attend the balls, the proms, etc (not that my parents had a clue about what i was doing - they were too wrapped up in their own mess to figure out that i'd tell mom i'd be at dad's, and dad i'd be at mom's a few times a week)

but even as a member of the early 80's punk scene the girls were treated with kid gloves - i could be in the center of a mosh pit brawl (and i looked like a teenage boy then, a rather fat one at that) and walk away with nothing worse than a few minor, accidental bruises... in some ways i resented that, and the fact that i couldn't leave the club without a male escort or a small group of women pissed me off a lot; but in other ways i was lucky that i had that community - i doubt i'd have survived my teenage years without them and it always makes me sad, even maudlin to think about those days and friends as everyone's gone now

i was the most independent girl i knew then, and now, at 42 i'm as hard headed and self reliant if not more-so - it angers me to no end that women are still treated as delicate flowers, to be protected - especially given that my tendency is to be the protector, the one who financially, emotionally and physically in some cases supports her chosen family

and the whole issue of gay rights has been something so upfront for me since the 80's and being a gay rights/aids activist that i see red all the time as i watch people marginalize those of us who aren't hetero - but then i get so angry that i don't manage to put down my thoughts well (or at all)

i have to say that on many levels the g/i/freak community has been really good to/for me - the men sometimes tend to be overly "chivalrous" (although i suspect if they understood what chivalry really means...) but i rarely run into a situation where i'm treated as inferior mentally in this community, and once i show the boys that i can keep up and do the work they stop treating me as someone who's not physically as strong - that is a wonderful thing (perhaps it's just me, and other women are treated differently - but i find many people go out of their way to earn my respect and listen to my thoughts/opinions in this group) - so thank you all
Tags: deep? thoughts..., history (aka life pre-lj)

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