hi all - this is a long one, so i'm going to cut this here for your reading pleausre

life is alternating periods of good and bad lately - my friends and primary are all great to me, but bad days are too frequent

the good:

going to san diego pride w/ b & j saturday (thanks for taking me along!) and getting to see l & r & a plus seeing berlin in concert at the festival (terri nunn is still smoking hot) - a bit sunburned and still sore as fuck from all the walking but it was definitely a great day

lots of dancing when i can get out with friends, including free tickets to vnv a few weeks ago (not terribly impressed with their newest release) which was an excellent night

attending a video shoot yesterday for a friend (hexrx)'s newest single and then spending the rest of the night at the club

watching the wire with the boi now that we've finished the bab 5 series

catching up on reading and finding some new communities online to follow (it's helping keep my brain working at least a little bit)

joining twitter (http://twitter.com/alumiere) for more interesting stuff to read and the hated facebook (note - i do not really use it at all; i joined as one of my friends insisted i do so to view some pictures - if you want to friend me or send me stuff that's fine, but don't expect many posts there) - my username is alumiere there as well

continuing to work on the piles of incomplete sewing projects around the house

waiting for the final release of jhada's book (which i spent a lot of time editing in 2006) - there's a preview up at http://jhadaaddams.com/TheVengeanceCycle/synopsis2.html and i'll post the links to purchase once it's available

the bad:

recently i've been searching for a job without success and fighting with unemployment (they still aren't paying me)

working with the attorney on divorce stuff - i need to file updated paperwork requesting alimony from the court as i'm out of work and not able to find anything so far - thankfully my folks are helping with the legal fees and don't plan to stop doing that until this is settled in or out of court, and i also need to prepare for and schedule depositions when i'm in the area in late august since my attempts to reach a settlement without alimony are going nowhere

getting information together to begin the application for federal disability (it will likely take years, and i need another lawyer for that)

sleeping way more than i should be (14 hours yesterday/today, and that's become a once or twice a week thing) - i can't afford another round of tests this soon as bc/bs still won't pay for any of the treatments for my illness (i was just tested in mid-may and we readjusted my meds again)

and the adjusted meds don't seem to be making much of a difference in my memory/logic issues - muscle memory works but newly learned things and things that require logic are only working half the time at best and the migraines i used to have occasionally are much more frequent

all of the health issues are making job hunting hard (i wouldn't hire me for a tech job; would you?); i hate feeling like i have to rely on friends to do anything (i rarely leave the house alone due to the memory issues); and dealing with unemployment, bc/bs and everything else eats up much of the time my logical brain is working

grandma bastas has taken another turn for the worse, and has moved from assisted living to a nursing home which she doesn't like (and mom is really having a hard time w/ this - and i can't do a damn thing to help)

overall, i guess things could be worse, but i am tired of all the bad piling up

the good thing is how lucky i am to have awesomely supportive friends and family to help me cope with everything