friday - slept about 11 hours, driven from bed by cleaning elephant heard upstairs - still tired, nap later; skipping adderall for a few days - clenched jaw and shoulder/neck stiffness is worse these days and seems to be worsening/increasing the frequency of headache/migraines and i need to figure out if this is the adderall or something related to the antibiotics or vfend and the side effects from those such as the major dizziness and/or the candidia; tired and nappy all day, stomach upset from anti-biotics vs. anti-candidia continues, throat/mouth still torn up from candidia as well; ~9pm calories retained today are in the negative numbers - wheee
saturday - 2pm slept 14+ hours and want to nap now, jaw/headache still here as are other symptoms; i'll try one more day w/out adderall, but at this point i don't think it's the cause of the increased pain/muscle tension; made it to a's birthday thing for a bit and then bar sin for about 90 mins - stood by the stage or in the back for most of ego likeness' set, we bailed before bella morte (i really dislike that space); slept poorly due to a combination of nightmares and waking up for meds but still got ~ 9 hours out of 12 spent in bed
sunday - finally out of bed late afternoon, migraine again (day 3 sans adderall, pretty positive that's not the cause of the headaches at this point); ran into some reading about access and invisible illness which is good, twittered the links for later reference as i don't appear to be getting better and if i don't save them i'll probably forget what i've read; also, light before 5am and dark before 5pm is really fucking with me this year, a lot more than usual, i want to be back on daylight savings time permanently; 2 hours after wakeup - bad fuzzy vision now = time to watch some videos; vision went from double/fuzzy to worse - bright spots and flares and ouch from white on the computer, turned off most of the lights in the house; it got a bit better by the time we headed to mal, but i still wore sunglasses in the car to help; i spent most of the night curled up on couches or the patio talking w/ people as i couldn't stand the lights on the dance floor; damn it i needed to dance off this mood; slept a lot (13? 14? hours)
monday - did approximately nothing, lost a few hours?; online and some job hunt stuff and reheating lasagna for dinner was the extent of my accomplishments for the day; still having issues w/ vision/bright light - i know this is the anti-biotics (listed side effects) but it sucks big-time; vertigo so bad i can't make it the 6' from couch to kitchen without holding on to something - wtf did i do to the universe that this has become my day?!; bed early, slept for 13+ hours again (note: this is w/out adderall - i stopped taking them to make sure they aren't the cause of the increased muscle pain/more frequent headaches; it does not appear to be adderall that is causing them; i hurt worse than i have since before i left for LA, and have had at least a low grade headache from the moment i wake up until i hit the bed again)
tuesday - just woke up, vertigo continues (complete with ringing in my ears which seems to be getting worse) headache still banded around my forehead, i think i remember saying that it felt like there was enough pressure to pop my eyes out; i am going to find something to watch on hulu until t comes home; when he gets here we must run a few errands as we didn't go out yesterday since i felt so shitty and meds have to be refilled - especially the really expensive anti-candidia one (throat/mouth issues have gotten incrementally worse every day on doxy/cipro - 7 days left til that's done and i can hope that things improve after that); last few days of headaches have not equalled i'm all present, so i guess i'm wrong about the correlation w/ migraines? or maybe because this headache seems to be caused by the anti-biotics increasingly bad side effects i should discount that? anyway, going to post this and then watch stupid videos
wtf is wrong with me? wtf is wrong with me, wtf is wrong with me?