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asleep at mal 9/09
i'm for x rights but... 
11/13/09 20:04
asleep at mal 9/09
go read this article:

Now, for those of you who are white and find empathizing with something written by a minority, pretend this was written for former President Bill Clinton by Ambassador Hillary Clinton. Replace all references to gay/queer/lgbt with references to feminine/female/woman. Got it? Or, replace black with female/woman - same thing again.

Or if you're a male who still believes women are not as capable as you are, who thinks girls should still be in the kitchen cooking for you, who feel that women are property (of their fathers, their brothers, their husbands), pretend this is the era in which Irish and Italian immigrants were treated as second class, and replace black with Italian and gay with Irish or vice versa. Or think about it from the standpoint of the man of Hispanic descent who's family immigrated to the US in the 1890's but who is treated like an illegal immigrant anyway. Or those of the Jewish, Muslim, Pagan, Hindu, etc faith during the Middle Ages and the Renaissance in Europe - you remember, when Christians were killing and torturing you to force your conversion to their faith.

And if it is still too difficult for you to comprehend that "othering" is bad, go away and don't bother to come back; I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to be your friend in spite of our differences; I've had enough of this shit.

It's WRONG, plain and simple, no matter what group of people you're othering or why. This is how measures that restrict the rights of anyone who's not "us" pass, and why it angers me so much - you are free to practice your religion, your culture as you see fit, you do not have to personally perform, bless, or otherwise condone gays in your houses of worship, you do not have to marry the white woman and the turkish man yourself, you can tell me I am going to "hell" for just posting this. But stop pretending this is right, compassionate, just behavior - you haven't got a leg to stand on when you disallow others the same humanity that you are so proud to possess.

As n8zilla responded to a post I made yesterday, honestly, i don't see why we bother with the pretense of a constitution, anymore... it's not like the pretty words about guarantees of liberty and equality under law contained in those dusty, neglected papers actually mean anything anymore.

In America, that is all too true, and it disgusts me as much now as it did when my friends were dying of AIDS and I was treated to holiday dinner conversation about how HIV is God's punishment for their sins. I want a drink.
11/14/09 21:33 (UTC)
Oddly enough, I was over there today and read that post before seeing your link to it. It had a lot of good things to say. It gave me some ideas of what to say to family members.

Sadly, I don't expect that those family members will be any more convinced by my reasoned argument then I am by there requests to please come to church with them and then I will embrace god. At least I don't give them shit for how they choose to live their lives.
11/16/09 13:46 (UTC) - Othering
That is a fantastic way of putting it. An ex always used to say "those people", teasing me about my tendencies towards activism/social justice. & "those people" could be anyone..blacks, Jews, women, gays. It was very Archie Bunker of him & one of the main reasons we broke up. See, Archie Bunker was a fictional character designed to raise the important issues of his day - racism primarily. This guy, some thirty years later, was saying stupid things to make me mad, things he likely didn't even mean.

But hey..we used to make only 55 cents to every male dollar..now we're up to a whopping 77 cents..bring on the steak & caviar!
11/16/09 13:47 (UTC) - Re: Othering
HIV = god's punishment = I don't need a drink, I need many drinks..
11/16/09 20:16 (UTC) - Re: Othering
oh, trust me, when that happened irl i proceeded to get completely wasted over dinner - it was the only way to cope
11/16/09 20:19 (UTC) - Re: Othering
I dunno if there's enough booze in the world. That phrase has been reverberating through my cranium all morning. with some crunchy horrible construction noises form outside. :
11/16/09 22:52 (UTC)
1. Good post -- I especially like the way that the author of the linked post explained that it's really one struggle. I don't understand arguments about whether one group's civil rights is comparable to another group's, or whether this group is more marginalized than that group, or in this way that the other group is not.
That's not the point-- the struggle for freedom and equality is always the struggle for freedom and equality. No two battles are exactly the same, but they are all about the same thing: the right of every human being to be treated like a human being.

2. I keep seeing all of these comments about parents and church and it reminds me of how lucky I am. The Quaker meeting where I grew up has been performing same sex marriages since the eighties, and my parents would go to other meetings to advocate that they do the same (the argument we faced at the time was "oh, families won't want to join," to which my family was a counterexample). I sometimes forget how ideologically sheltered I was growing up.

3. By the way, your comment about HIV reminded me to send off my peer health education program to one of the people that's interested in being a peer health educator, beginning the expansion of my program, so your post is inspiring action in this reader.