alumiere (alumiere) wrote,

I hate this...

I just read a long post about an online friend's wedding, which made me cry a lot.

Ten years ago my partner and I were putting together our wedding, making sure that it would be a perfect day (it wasn't quite perfect; rain moved the ceremony indoors), and talking about how in ten years we wanted to have a huge anniversary party at the same location with all our friends and family there. In May 2000, after years together, I married my best friend, because he convinced me that we'd be together forever.

And now? Now, I'm going through a seriously ugly divorce, he's refused to pay bills that were in my name but for the house he lived in (and he was collecting rent to pay said bills). My ex (who on some level I still fucking miss - wtf is wrong with me? - how can I miss even my best friend when he's obviously someone I didn't know or he wouldn't do this?) has done things that have cost me huge amounts of money, but more devastating he's done things that have made my already bad health worse.

And he continues to waste my time, the court's time, my attorney's time with bullshit filings and offers that are unreasonable beyond belief. I've been trying to wrap my head around his behavior and actions since spring 2008 when he started blaming me for the fact that he couldn't afford to keep our house without me paying for it, but I keep failing.

How does one cope with the fact that the person you've loved, the person you've bent over backwards to help, the partner you tried to give the world to turns into someone you don't want to know?

And now, instead of planning that 10 year anniversary party; inviting friends and family to come celebrate with us; I'm trying to build a new life for myself. Only I can't do that because the ex won't negotiate a reasonable settlement, and seems to think that he doesn't need to pay his bills.

I know damn well that he's hoping I'm too sick to deal with this anymore and sign off on his ludicrous offer, or that the case will get decided without me because I can't get to MD for the hearing, or that I'll appear but be unable to represent myself since I have memory loss. Taking advantage of the fact that I'm sick to avoid paying for your bills? Sorry, but that's wrong.

I seem to remember you doing something incredibly stupid back in the day (at Trax), and me bailing you out. That incident was over a few hundered dollars someone owed you - so tell me, how is what you're doing now acceptable?

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