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asleep at mal 9/09
1/25/10 15:29
asleep at mal 9/09
So, I got home from my EEG with a raging headache to see that anonymous had commented in this post. Based on the personal knowledge I think this is Brian/Zooom or his girlfriend. In either case thanks for telling me you think I'm divorced and my ex is off the hook. I haven't seen a copy of the judges decision, but I can contest it, appeal, request a modification or sue because the judge threw out my ADA petition for postponement or remote testimony.

You know, you & your Lawyer may have laughed at your ex's responses but in the end who's laughing now? I'm just curious as to why you haven't posted the outcome or why wasn't your Lawyer there to refute his claims? What would everyone think about that?

You had enough venom to lash out at him before your hearing so why not now? All the anger you had about him owing you was all for nothing?

I'm sorry for it all because in the end you both lost something more valuable then the monetary value you felt he owed you for the several years of financial & emotional support you gave him. If money is all you wanted maybe you should have taken him up on one of his offers. At least you would have walked away with something rather then nothing.

I never wanted just money. I always wanted my ex to live up to his promises and pay his damn bills and come to a reasonable settlement as we discussed the last time I saw him. I hired a lawyer in an attempt to get to that point, since he refused to talk to me or respond directly to me, but that too failed and he wasted my time, my lawyer's time, and my family's money.

Regardless of the judges decision Brian was way wrong in how he treated me once I could no longer pay for half the house, and I cannot figure out why he's done this.

As for why I haven't said anything, I haven't gotten a copy of the decision, which according to the court wasn't entered until 1/19/10 at which point it was sent via regular mail to my LA address. I was waiting to see it before saying anything more, but you obviously know something I don't.

I was unable to attend in person due to illness and memory loss, I filed an ADA petition to postpone the trial or allow me to appear remotely which the judge decided against on 12/30/09. Other than those things, and that I can appeal, ask for a moderation of the settlement, or sue once I see the decision that's all I know. Apparently the court cannot tell me anything useful over the phone.

As for why my lawyer wasn't there? When the judge ruled against remote testimony or postponement her clerk informed me that either I appear in person on 1/4/10 or I didn't have a say in this stage of the case, and neither my lawyer or anyone else could appear in my stead. Since I couldn't appear in MD on that date the judge obviously made decisions but I know not what those decisions are.

If Brian wants to do the right thing, that would be nice; I sincerely doubt that he does. He hasn't even responded to my repeated and repeated requests to send me the snifter of matches from my Grandmother's house which was on the bar. Nor have I seen the scans of our pictures (he kept them all) or the copies of the DVDs (since I was allowed to take maybe 1/5 of the total collection, and only things he didn't want, he was going to burn me copies of the rest) that Brian promised me.

He also had errors? lies? wishful thinking? on some of the paperwork he filed with the court, and I was not allowed to counter his arguments because I could not appear. He said that the utilities at the house were not his responsibility in court documents which is utterly untrue. At this point I can only assume that he was never the person I thought him to be, and I expect him to refuse to do the right thing because he obviously has no honor; if he did he would have paid his bills at the house. Or he would made a reasonable settlement offer that included paying the utilities and the money he took from the joint account plus compensation for the fact that he kept nearly all of our joint property and has the only retirement fund because I cleaned mine out in 2008 to pay medical expenses and his bills.

As for losing something more valuable than money I used to think our friendship was much more valuable than any sum of money. Why the fuck would I continue to pay not only half the mortgage but half the utilities, etc on a house I didn't live in if I thought money was important? I still thought that our friendship was important when I visited in July 08, even though I thought he behaved like an absolute ass toward me when I was at the house.

And then it turned out he lied to me about things at the house when I saw him last, and he failed to negotiate in good faith since moving out of the house, and wow - suddenly I stopped having any desire to have such a friend. Anyone who can lie to my face and cover up not paying his bills isn't someone I need in my life.

Also, whoever you are, sign your name next time you comment? Only cowards make anonymous statements like the one above and give the original poster no idea who said this or how to reach them with a response.
1/25/10 23:45 (UTC)
Kim, I'm sorry this has been such a long and awful fight. And I wish I could say that I was surprised. My separation was so quick and painless compared to yours, and it was still quite bad enough for me, and you have so much other crap to deal with at the same time. I can't imagine how frustrating and hurtful this is. Not that any of that is helpful, but I didn't want you to think this is all just going out into a void.

1/26/10 0:14 (UTC) - For the record
Since neither Zooom can't post during the day, I'm reasonably certain it wasn't him. And it wasn't me either; I have millions of paragraphs of other things that I would say, but frankly, it's not worth my time. Any time that I have tried to contribute anything to this conversation, you've always just told me that I was wrong, that I was crazy, etc. etc. You're just not worth my time.
1/26/10 0:47 (UTC) - Re: For the record
and also for the record...I have responded in the past until you got beligerant and threatening, at which point I ceased talking to you, because you could not be rational.

in regards to the anonymous poster, it also was not me, and I addressed your lawyer and you in my posting here -> http://zooom.livejournal.com/17728.html

you guys (you and your lawyer) can laugh all you want, but I will tell you flat out now, you never provided bills that had "paid" or statements of proof as to how they were paid or any of the repeatedly requested information, because they could just have as easily been paid by HFC in the assumption of the property and all aspects of it. Look at the responses I sent your lawyer, which if you'de like, I can make public and reveal what things you are twisting in all of this. You got free sound advice from friends here like Vicar and a few others, and yet you disregarded it, who's fault is that?

In terms of the court, you were told point blank by the Master repeatedly in October that you needed to be here for the court date on Jan 4th or you needed to provide a sworn affidavit from your doctor as to why you can not travel and when you can. The affidavit would be for the court to consider moving the date otherwise. You were told that for these matters, that they do not do trials by phone or video and that if you didn't provide the above mentioned, that the proceeding would go on and a judgement by default would be issued. Your motion to the court, re-pleading to do what they said no to already, submitted to the court on Dec 30th, mentioning ADA, but not citing anything specific, is yet another pathetic piece of how you go around shooting yourself in the foot and then later complaining about it.

In terms of the court telling you anything over the phone, they aren't allowed to. If you are serious about matters regarding anything further in this case, maybe you should consult your lawyer on procedure?!?!? I bet the answer you will get is less than pleasing to you, but it is the reality of the situation, because you did this to yourself.

Some of your other accusations are answered in my link I have posted. Feel free to read it and gain some of the truth which you have lost.

Quite frankly, I could go on further and elaborate on more details, but it isn't worth the time or space or energy.
1/26/10 2:01 (UTC) - Re: For the record
First, if neither of you posted who the hell has access to that information? Someone certainly posted it, and it sounds like they have information that I do not. I apologize if that portion of this post is incorrect, but as I noted, it was a guess.

For the record, you stopped responding rationally to me after I found out you hadn't paid the utilities at the house since 3/08 when you moved out in 8/08. I did get angry and threatening, because you refused to pay your bills. As for not providing paid copies of the bill, this is the first time I've seen such a request. I do not have copies of those because you were getting the mail from the house not me, and I assume those bills were forwarded to your new address along with everything else. But those bills were paid by me on the dates I notified you they were paid. I have not lied about that unlike you lying to my face when you said you were taking care of the utilities on 7/08 when I saw you last.

I did exactly as I was told by the master for court. I was set to come to Md, flying out and having mom pick me up at BWI on 1/2/10 and bring me to court. But as noted in the ADA petition for remote testimony or postponement, and adverse reaction to a medication that was supposed to improve my condition made things dramatically worse, and I could not travel at this time. I provided the documentation that I had which was what was available on 12/23/09 when it was decided that I was unsafe to travel via a phone call. I believe the court erroneously denied that request.

However, if the judge made a reasonable decision I have no interest in fighting with you over this any longer. I cannot get any information out of my lawyer at this time because the court has not yet seen fit to deliver a copy of the decision, and am waiting on that. I have been told in no uncertain terms that I do have options if I need to take them.

And I'm so glad to know you gave the snifter to Gus - you never told me that, nor did he. I'm glad it's safe and I'll ask him to send it to me. You still haven't kept your word on other issues either, so again, dishonorable. I'll say nothing else until court documents are delivered.
1/26/10 6:42 (UTC) - Re: For the record
I was wrong about saying nothing else. I hadn't read your post at that point.

Also, your post? There's a response to it in my journal. I really really cannot believe the things you said. You have most certainly proven to me that you will happily twist things to your own view and you do not honor your word.

Edited at 2010-01-26 06:43 am (UTC)