?

Log in

No account? Create an account
asleep at mal 9/09
alumiere
June 20-24 Condensed... 
6/25/10 11:36
asleep at mal 9/09
Sunday 6/20:
10:44 More broken sleep. ~ 2 hours, then up for 2, then another 8. Pain/numb 6/7. Today's 1 thing: wedding?, dance. #almeds
13:05 T/t both my 'rents today - they're worried about my mental attitude and anger regarding #almeds. I'm not though: anger is an energy... (PIL)
13:08 I thanked them for their concern (& prayers - the thought counts) even though I am very much an #atheist. I'd like scientific answers thanks
13:32 Oi. Pain/numb has been increasing since I woke despite of gorgeous day. Now at an 8/9, focused in hip/legs today. #almeds wedding = unlikely

Monday 6/21:
16:09 Danced a bit last night, today's 1 thing: paperwork, job stuff. Pain: 8 (hip) 7 (shoulders/arms)/Numb: 7 Very tired w/ ~ 10 hrs slp. #almeds
22:00 Hope everyone enjoyed their solstice today; the weather in LA was sunny but breezy, and our day was spent mostly doing filing, studying, etc

Tuesday 6/22:
11:40 More broken sleep with fubar dreams: slept 1-3, up til 5; slept 5-8, up (neighbor is loud); slept 9-11. This has become pretty normal. Tired #almeds
11:44 Pain/numb 7/8. Another gorgeous day, may take paperwork outside & sit in the sun to finish up if brain works. 1 thing: groceries. #almeds

Wednesday 6/23
13:16 Last nights dreams featured an earthquake. Our apt. didn't collapse, LA didn't land in the Pacific, but transportation a disaster. #almeds
13:18 In dream worried about getting safe food, needed medication, Doctor's care. Subconscious is sending me messages w/ disaster dreams? #almeds
13:26 Pain 8/numb 6 typing not too bad. Slept ~ 11 hours & still tired. Upset stomach too. 1 thing: sort stuff for yardsale Sunday? #almeds

Thursday 6/24:
16:12 Today is not good - pain 7, numb (hands/arms) 9. I can barely pick up my laptop or a book. Slept ~ 11 hours too. This sucks. #almeds
16:19 Burning numbness is a big problem. Also, itchiness is way up again, still tempted to shave my head bald, also can't stand clothes. #almeds
20:30 Muscle relaxer and tens helped the burning/numb for a bit, now at 7ish. But getting rather sleepy. Today's 1 thing: more yardsale prep.

I should note that the last month-plus nearly every dream I have is post-apocalypse, disaster and/or dystopian society type stuff. They all feature lots of trying to figure out food, shelter, medicine, etc. No doubt some of this is spillover from the Gulf, environmental catastrophes, and social ills currently in the news. But the other recurring pattern is my medical/diet needs and making sure I can function at a high enough minimal level to stay alive now that society is tearing itself apart or whatever the problem is.

Dear subconscious - I hear you. But the questions you are raising are things I do not know how to answer. How do I stockpile my medications when I can only get a month's supply at a time? We have a small garden, but I know that won't supply enough food, and things like cheese and fresh meat make up a large portion of my diet... And the unfortunate reality is with my "depressed immune system" I won't last terribly long if disease runs rampant through the survivors anyway. Give me a break please. I would like some happy dreams or sexy dreams or even no dreams for a change - these are getting old.

Links in (a) separate post(s); there are a bunch of things going on besides my chronic broken that I'd love to discuss this week.
Comments 
6/26/10 19:00 (UTC)
recurrent dreams are disturbing. *hugs*
i knew someone else that used to have re occuring apocolyse dreams too, where he couldn't find his people. they came in clusters and reapeated leaving him deeply unsettled... then we noticed that sometimes something triggered it. like seeing part of stephen king's the stand. (ya you'd think that would be a right away association but it wasn't lol)
and stress.
anyway the point of rambling on is this- dreams are usually just your brain messing with you or venting stuff... and i am a firm believer that broken sleep, over tiredness and such = bad dreams.
maybe our brains are punishing us for not letting them rest enough?
hope it fades soon.
do you try reading before bed? i always read myself to sleep and it has been an imense help with (parts of) the insomnia and definately the dreams.