7/31 - 8/15 Meds Tracking
1:31am Ouch. Went out, bought the birthday boy two drinks (he's finally 21) and mostly spent the night talking to people; danced to 1 song. #almeds
1:52pm Up, slept well, pain/numb 7/6. Sunny & warm helps. Bunker was better than last time, although no dancing for me (they need an elevator!).
1:54pm Today's 1 thing: more sewing, errands w/ T. Maybe bowflex (focus on stomach/back). Right now, make lists of things I need to get/do. #almeds
6:57pm Productive day sewing wise, but pain/numb has gone from 5/5 (a great day) to 8/7. Relax, dinner, maybe nap. Then dance later. #almeds
1:30pm Awake, I think I overdid it yesterday even w/ the lazy early evening. Danced, talked to friends, a good nite. But I'm definitely... #almeds
1:33pm in negative spoon territory. Today I will sit in the sun, maybe sew and read, probably more napping. Now, lunch and meds. #almeds
2:18pm Another day when my body doesn't want to keep food. Yesterday too. I am tired of this; apricot & toast should not = upset stomach. #almeds
6:04pm Ok. Going to try taking acidophilus twice/day and going back on nystatin in the hopes that helps. But this isn't acting the same as...
6:06pm previous flare-ups of Candidia. Done with all productivity, and wiped, I am now going to lay on couch and veg/read. #almeds
11:43am Awake, ~ 6 hours of broken sleep. Stomach still unhappy. Pain/numb 8/6. Today's 1 thing: sewing. All the food I managed to keep... #almeds
11:44am...yesterday was juice & cheese. Will repeat that food choice in a few hours and hope it sticks; I'm so fucking hungry. #almeds
1:23am Done sewing for today; I feel like I accomplished very little, this isn't going well. Pain/numb 8/7, stomach somewhat better though. #almeds
12:46pm ~ 9 hours of sleep, pain/numb 9/7 (highest in right hand/arm today). Stomach about the same. Hoping stretching in the sun helps. #almeds
1:11pm Grrr... trying to print something for A, cannot find printer on network, reinstall of drivers failing too. Hopefully T can sort it out...
1:12pm as my brain is not functioning properly and I can't see what the problem is. This should be easy, I used to be a NOC manager! #almeds
1:40pm Sun/stretching did little, eating lunch, reading, TENS machine at 7. I have sewing to do, but pain/numb must calm down first. #almeds
6:51pm Wow. I am out of it today. Of course I couldn't reconfigure the printer; I was using the wrong cable. Also, no coordination at all. #almeds
12:49pm Pain/numb 8/7, lovely day, spent some time in the sun. Today's 1 thing: sewing. Got none done yesterday. Upset stomach continues. #almeds
12:51pm Having lunch - the last peach, salad. Hopefully this sticks with me for a bit, tired of getting sick every time I eat. #almeds
10:38pm Fuck. Still failing at this damn zipper. Pain up to 9, giving up. Will try again tomorrow. I have to get this done so I can move on. #almeds
11:40am Ok - pain/numb down somewhat to 6/7 (except right hip pain - 9). Slowly waking up, lunch then resume sewing. Hope today goes better. #almeds
12:14am Zipper #1 finally done, shirt #1 making progress - 1 of 2 sleeves mostly done, need to do collar then verify fitting. Pain/numb 9/8. #almeds
12:17am Now, TENS, some reading/relaxing & sleep. Tomorrow - finish B's outfit as much as possible & keep sewing, hope body cooperates. #almeds
1:31pm Another gorgeous day, pain/numb 7/6. My body seems to be cooperating mostly although I didn't sleep well. More sewing soon. #almeds
1:06pm Some success: skirt done, sleeves almost, shirt just needs trim, working on neck piece. Today-errands, sewing, dance. Pain/numb 8/6 #almeds
12:23pm Ow... Pain/numb 9/8. Need to make garment/price list, take pics, lots of sewing, fit B - too much. Stretching/TENS, then back to it. #almeds
2:14pm Lunch break and pain meds, slow progress. T is working on wiring for the skirt, neck corset mock-up 80% done. #almeds
5:02pm Grrr... body is not cooperating at all today. T is finishing kilt, i've got neck corset & the rest of B's outfit ready for fitting #almeds
5:05pm but enough pain to make me nauseous & shaky isn't productive. Hoping I didn't fuck up the yellow dress for C to model - we'll see. #almeds
10:41pm Blah. Fitting done, lots of small adjustments to make. Price list/descriptions sent. Yellow dress progressing. Pain/numb 8/7. #almeds
12:29pm Overslept by two hours. Broken sleep, pain in new places kept waking me up. Currently pain/numb at 9/6. Read, food/meds, sew. #almeds
11:52pm This takes forever. 9' hoop lit, wired and ready to hang, 7' hoop ready to install lights/wires. Pain/numb 8/6. Bed soon. #almeds
11:43am Ouch, ouch, ouch. Hands, arms, shoulders are pain 9. Overall pain/numb 7/7. More sewing; fortunately I have help. Stomach issues continue #almeds
10:58pm Slow progress is slow, pain and frequent trips to the bathroom don't help. Hoop skirt is 80%, hairpiece 70%, neck corset 40%. Tired! #almeds
12:52am Up because of pain, headache. Waiting for meds to do their job. In the meantime, the last few weeks sucked physically, I'm fried. #almeds
12:54am Follow up with Endo on Monday, hopefully she'll have some ideas/changes to make. I'm vacillating between useless, furious, & depressed. #almeds
6:10pm Pain/numb 9/7, time for a nap. More help today, M's dress is fitted, T is working on wiring for the neck corset, white fishnet cut. #almeds
6:12pm My body is one big knot of misery and achy, I'm so glad I've had a ton of help or things would never be ready for Sunday's show. #almeds
8:32pm Nap didn't help, pain/numb now 10/9. No more sewing for me today (I feel like friends did most of the work today anyway). #almeds
8:35pm Muscle relaxers, pain meds, dinner, maybe hot water, and more sleep. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better. I'm running out of time. #almeds
9:13pm Doing somewhat better today; collar built, wiring done, just needs trim. Hoop skirt 85%, working on fishnet dress. Pain/numb 8/7 now.
9:15pm Slept like 16 hours last night, pain/numb started today at 7/6, I guess the muscle relaxers helped. Assistants also rock. #almeds
More pain, more sewing, more help, more oversleeping, fashion show.
3:34am Show over, I think it was a success. We've been tentativey invited back next year... exhaused, can't type well atm. Bed soon #almeds
2:13pm nifty.. muscle cramps in my feet now. Totally new intense pain. Wow. Way past bedtime/ #almeds (from 3:30am ish today)
2:16pm sleep semi-successful, pain kept waking me up. i've given up on sleep for now, pain/numb 9/8. taking it very easy today. #almeds
5:38pm meh - apparently 10ish hours of sleep wasn't enough, i will be taking a nap shortly. pain/numb 8/8 after lunch meds & stretching. #almeds
7:08pm Also failed at napping, pain is. 9/8, will take pain meds shortly. Boy is making dinner too, so I don't have to move from couch. #almeds
A bit more about the fashion show - my goal was to have 5 outfits complete, and I did, thanks to tons of help. I had also already completed both B's skirt and T's kilt except for some minor adjustments well before being asked to participate. Still, everything took way longer than I thought it should, my pain levels and unsteady hands were a real problem, and I ran out of pain meds that I can tolerate without becoming stupid a week before the show, only the doctor wouldn't call in a refill.
I remember the hell that was Into the Woods when I was in grad school; I was incredibly sick throughout the month + build (bronchitis, something like but not mono, possible walking pnuemonia), but that was a breeze in comparison, and all this show involved was sewing. No building props, carving foam, welding set pieces, etc. And I had more help this time than I did during Into the Woods to boot.
I am glad I participated in the show, I'm thrilled with some of the results (and not so much with others - note to self: do not let boys pick plastic fabrics unless they are going to do the construction themselves) and I hope the pictures turn out well. But I also failed to allow enough extra time for body breakdowns even though I expected them and started work well ahead of time.
I obviously need to do better at working within my limitations, which means expecting no more than 4 hours a day of true productivity, and on bad days none. I hate this, and I'm not getting better physically nor am I coping well. I would really like to have more than one good day a month, and to have that good day last for more than a few hours. I am not good at this, and my memory failures continue to be a problem quite often.
I am incredibly lucky too - I can still walk, I can still dance, I have family and friends who help out whenever possible, who go above and beyond. But I miss being the one who helps others rather than needing help myself. Thanks all for propping me up. I love you.