in my last post, i mentioned struggling to find the center when i'm dancing, and wondering if it wasn't in part because i was dancing a lot less. nope, apparently not, because for a few minutes at a time friday night i managed to find it before the pain broke through again. the music and my friends and everyone at mal(edcition society) were so on - it seemed like everyone was in a good mood/place. so even when i napped or people watched in 'my' chair or hung out talking i felt good, and my head was clearly focused on music/movement and i got over that edge. so much joy, endorphins that helped make it easier the next time i was dancing, and great energy from everyone on the dancefloor - i can't explain it even remotely. but i am ecstatic to have hit that sweet spot where the world falls away and the pain doesn't matter and it's just me in motion to the music. i felt whole and at peace and my face hurts from smiling so much. and after the club a half dozen or so of us went to the taco truck on the corner for munchies - and since they make everything including the tortillas there i was able to eat with my friends and not get sick - so i got an asada quesadilla and a bottle of 'mexican' coke (both of which i gave away half of) and went home and crashed.

i spent the day saturday doing approximately nothing (i had hoped to get up early enough to go to slutwalk, but i failed at that). i sat in the sun for about an hour, i added side slits to the dress i wore that night (an easy fix for the fact that it was too tight around the legs/ankles to dance in), and i napped for hours. in honor of slutwalk i did wear something that's been in my closet for years, but felt a bit naked even for me - a fishnet dress over lace lingerie. i even took and posted a selfie to the twitter tag (which of course elicited assholes suggesting i should be groped and assaulted for daring to wear it, thus proving the point that the protest is needed even if it's imperfect). then friends picked me up for mode:m, where everyone made me feel fine about my clothing choice, and no-one behaved badly all night (unless they had permission of course). i had a great time, although i was feeling a bit self-conscious about my dress so i failed at center most of the night but i was feeling the afterglow from friday at mal so it didn't really matter. it was also a reminder that i've been incredibly lucky on both coasts to have clubs where assholes are removed and i'm surrounded by friends (i miss people in baltimore/dc, but not much else).

today, in order to recover from going out two nights in a row (even with naps both friday and saturday) i spent most of the day in bed. i slept until pris kitty woke me for food around 10, then napped from 11-4:30, and i'm going to bed again after i do my dishes from dinner. but it was sooo worth it to have a weekend like this one.