alumiere (alumiere) wrote,
alumiere Human Virus Scanner -

Human Virus Scanner
The viruses that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.

Viruses you suffer from:

TotL: Go read Brunching
Linux: Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
Junkfood: Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
Free BSD: The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
Gaming: Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.
Industrial: Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.
Sci-fi: Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Religion: Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
British: No need for cure. Benign virus.
UNIX: Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
Southampton: Move to the Isle of Wight.
Discordia: Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
Politics: Stop caring!
Brand Names: Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
Hippyism: Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Computer Games: Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Conspiracy Theory: Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
Environmentalism: Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Macintosh: Use a mouse with more than one button.
Prog Rock: Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.
Viruses you might suffer from:
USA (90%) Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
8-Bit (90%) Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
vi (90%) Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
Cars (75%) There just hunks of metal which go real fast. Ride a bike through London at rush hour.
Japan (60%) Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
Tags: memes & writers block, was this funny? xxx-ist

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