alumiere (alumiere) wrote,

types of men (or women) we've been with

there were 3 men and 5 women sitting around the table for this discussion (although 4 of the women are bi, so it made the odds a bit more even)

gentleman/lady - person who does nothing when you tell them you just want to crash
pushy - doesn't get that no means no, keeps trying, even when you're asleep
under achiever - lies there and lets you do the work, just plain bad in bed
"it's a small world after all" - sleeping with your friend/sister/etc
"psycho twinkie" - one night stand made clear before sex, they think you're the one and won't go away
sex w/out equality - inconsiderate lover, only wants to satisfy him/her self
coyote morning sex - who's in bed with me? what the fuck was i thinking?
egotrippers - all about me, me, me... talks incessantly about performance, conquests, how good they're going to make you feel, etc (and then they usually suck)
jackhammer/energizer bunny - keeps going and going and going
voyers - they just want to watch
2" wonders - itsy bitsy teeny weenie
"never judge the package by the wrapping" - big balls, no cock
"sandpaper sam" - no foreplay
slave/master - wants to be tied up/tie you up every time
pleasure machine - interested in your orgasms - you must come 1st
opera singer - loud
the minute man (or woman) - waay too quick
"bed rocker" - rough sex
romantic - candles/flowers/slow seduction
"checkpoint charlie" - asks lots of questions - is this good? what do you want? etc
sex machine/sex monkey - good in bed, and perpetually turned on
prince charming - pretty to look at, good, considerate lover, but kind of boring
perfect mate - a myth? - good lover, good to talk to, stable mentally & financially, fun
rump ranger
vampire - sucks energy/sex drive/anything else from you
mad sex scientist - wants to try every position and toy he/she can - all in one session
user - gives you sex in return for $ or other support (not prostitute though)
bimbo - attractive, good in bed, sleeps with everyone you know, no committment
shy one - won't make the 1st move, but once started, look out

i'm sure there were more, but once the 1st page got filled up, we kinda stopped keeping track...
Tags: memes & writers block

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